In this moment,
my heart doesn’t even hurt anymore.
I’m so trapped between logic
and feeling.
I have tried to logic myself out of caring for you.
It hasn’t worked.
I have tried to kiss my way out of caring for you.
It hasn’t worked.
I unhinged that last clot that’s been
stuffing up my heart-brain vein.
Now there are thoughts pooling and gushing
in my insecure places.
I should allow myself to be more brave.
I was so proud when I let myself fall,
backwards, whirling.
Am I resilient enough for one more leap?
I promised myself I would sleep on it.
No big decisions are made well by insomniacs.
I will sleep and brood
and wake up and partake in
my first morning instinct.
